Casualties of war
by CaleighWho
Summary: Lorraine is used to getting what she's wants in life. But what happens when she can't have the one thing she needs; Nikki. This fic follows their journey throughout their relationship. Set just after episode 24. I'm miles behind the actual story-line, so i'm going to take it in my own direction. I hope you like it. Please read and review. Thank-you xox
1. Chapter 1

**This is set in episode 24 after Lorraine goes to Sonya's house for a sisterly talk. I'm obviously miles behind the actually story-line in the show, so I'll probably take it in my own direction. I promise the story line gets more interesting after this chapter, I just need to set the scene a bit. I'll try and update fast, because everyone loves a fast updater ;) Leave a review, what you think of it, love it or hate it. Reviews keep me going! Enjoy xox**

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**Lorraine's POV**

I wipe a single tear from my red cheek as I approach, and knock, her front door. The all-too-familiar sound of her feet pounding against the laminated floor as she rushes to answer it. She answers with a smile on her face. A smile that faded as soon as she saw me. I hear her breathing gain pace as her mind tries to figure out the right words to say. "We need to talk, Nik." I speak too quickly, as if I've been practising what to say when she opens the door. And in truth, I have been. "What about?" She sighs out, pretending like nothing's happened between us. "What I did today… I was wrong." I stutter a little, allowing the cold, dark night to invade my thoughts, jumbling them into wrong words and mixed feelings. Fogging my mind. I'm still stood on her door step, the icy wind hitting my cheeks harder than the tears that fell from my eyes. She doesn't say anything for a moment, and I consider turning around and walking back to my car. But then she moves out of the doorway, and into her lounge. I take it as an invitation to come in, and follow her.

And I watch as she stands in the middle of her lounge, running a hand through her short bobbed hair. Her pale lips trembling a little. God, how I wish I could kiss those lips. Feel her breath against my breath. Both of us fighting for dominance. But that won't happen, because I've well and truly fucked everything up. I ran away from a problem in hope that I would forget all about it, and it would make me feel better. But it didn't. It made me feel worse. Nikki coughs, a hollow cough, as if to grab my attention. And it does, as I'm flinging my head upwards, looking at her intently. "I meant what I said, Lorraine." She said with confidence. Lorraine. Urgh, I hate it when she calls me Lorraine. It sounds too professional, not intimate enough. "And so did I," I shot back, glancing at her parted lips for far too long. "I fucked up. I really fucked up, Nikki, and I'm sorry." I admit to her. She frowns a fraction, and bites her lip. She knows that drives me crazy. It takes all my strength to not kiss her there and then. "Okay." She simply states. "What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I forgive you, that we should just pretend like this never happened? Because I can't do that."

"You broke my heart today Lorraine. You made me think that you, god forbid, actually had feelings towards me. And then you called us off, just like that, all because Michael found out about us." Nikki raised her voice before turning away from me, looking out at her garden through the window. That garden used to be our happy place. Some days we would spend hours in that garden, catching the sun, enjoying the summer. Sitting hand in hand. Fat chance of that happening now. "It wasn't like that." I tried to convince her. Or was I trying to convince myself? Because in my head, what I done was justified. I needed to do it for her sake more than my own. "What was it like then?" She turned back around, her eyes rimmed with tears, refusing to drop down her cheek. "I wasn't thinking straight. All I could think of was Michael knowing something about me that I don't want anyone to know." My voice wavered slightly. Nikki shook her head, biting down harder on her lip, as if to keep the words from flowing. But it doesn't work. "You're embarrassed to be gay aren't you?" Her voice wasn't soft like it used to be. It was cold, full of anger. She knows the answer to the question. The question that I've been forced to answer time and time again. Yes. I was embarrassed. Because for half of my childhood, I was the queer who had no friends. The queer who was forced to eat her lunch in the toilets because if I went anywhere else, I would get bullied and spat at. So, yeah, I was embarrassed, because it reminds me of the worst parts of my life.

"Well I'm not going through the pain of loving you again, Lo." She mumbled quietly before attempting to push past me and go elsewhere. "Nik, please." I grab her arm, our bodies so close, almost touching. Our eyes stuck in each other's gaze. Our lips only inches away. And I feel her breathing heavy, angered breaths. Her eyes are no longer filled with tears, just filled with pain and bad memories. Memories of how viciously I had ended our perfect relationship. Why did I do it? Why did I mess up the one thing I could count on to make me feel safe and happy? Because I'm a coward. I run away from things. I bury myself in deep, deep holes, away from civilisation, just to keep my dignity intact. I guess what people say about me is true; I'm a cold, heartless bitch, who cares about nothing but her reputation and businesses. Nikki quickly tore her eyes away from mine, focusing on my hand on her arm, tightly. Shrugging my hand off as if it burnt her. And to be honest, the heat between us was so intense, it probably could have burnt a hole right through us.

"You can show yourself out." She spoke with no emotion, no pain, no nothing. I watched as she walked away into the kitchen, the sudden sound of glasses and bottles clattering together. I sighed, opening the door, feeling the cold night's air against my exposed skin. And then it hit me. Why should I walk away from something so important to me? I should fight for us, for _Nikki_. I slammed the door shut, knowing it would be loud enough for Nikki to hear. I hear her make a sound, like a sigh but with a hint of pain. _Maybe I've hurt her enough today_. _Maybe I should just leave_. But no, I don't. Of course I don't. I walk confidentially into the kitchen, where she is stood, slumping over the counter, with a bottle of beer in her hand. I instantly know it's her pain reliever. Because I know her well enough to know when she's broken. And god, she's broken. I step forward a little, allowing her to know that I've entered the room. She tenses, squeezing her eyes shut. But I can still see the pain behind them.

And I can't decide whether I should go over to her, hold her hands and properly apologise, or keep my distance, give her the space to breathe. I decide to stay where I am; it's safer that way. "How do you manage to do this to me every time, Lo?" She spoke softly, quietly. Because if she were to raise her voice, tears of pain and hatred would stream down her cheeks. "I… I don't mean to." I reply, my voice trailing off towards the end. Nikki looks up, a tear dangling from her beautifully long lashes; threating to fall. And it creates a huge lump in my throat. A lump of regret and words I could never say, despite wanting to. "Please, leave." She stands up-right, suddenly gaining posture and confidence. "I don't want to talk to you. I don't want any form of intimacy with you." She poured the remains of the beer down the drain, banging the empty bottle on the side in anger. "I'll see you tomorrow at work."

"Is that it?" I snap, frowning. Disappointment deep in my voice. I'm not entirely sure what I expected to come out of tonight, but it certainly was not _this_. "Yeah, that is it Lorraine. I'm sick of you thinking that you can have everything you want, because you can't, okay?! Now, get out." She spat back, really losing her temper this time. Treating me like one of her immature students. I know that what I'd done today was wrong, and I should have given us more time to sort it all out instead of running away. But I was _human_ and I did not deserve to be talked to like that. "You know what… Fine." I grunted, quickly turning on my hot read heels, walking as fast as I could towards the door. Flinging it open and storming out into the rainy shitty weather. "You say I'm not human, but really you're not either." I yell as loud as my dry throat will allow me to, hoping that my mean words had hit her in the heart. I slammed the door behind me before racing to my car, where I sat for a few moments, drenched in raindrops and salty tears.

I speed through the city, the sound of the engine momentarily letting me shut all the mean, yet truthful, words out of my mind. But it doesn't work for long. Because as soon as I'm in the discomfort of my own lonely home, I collapse into a pile of nothingness on my once so warm bed. Today's events running in my head over and over again until I give up on sleep, knowing that tomorrow's going to be worse than today.

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**Leave a review to let me know what you think, and if I should carry on with this fic? x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for the reviews and feedback from the last chapter; it has given me such a confidence boost! I hope this chapter is a bit better than the last one :D Sorry that I've update late; I won't do it again! I've just been really busy! Anyway, let me know what you think x**

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I walk through the halls which I own with dishonor and little pride. My shoes clicking against the scrubby floor, creating a sound which can only be described as annoyingly loud. And I hate the sound which I've become too familiar with. Yet I still wear these awful shoes. Because my appearance is important to me; it keeps the bags from under my eyes hidden. The emotions locked away. After all, a fake appearance is better that a broken one. The bell rings as I enter mine and Michael's office, and I sigh a bit too loudly as I notice him sat at the desk.

"Pleased to see me then." He spoke sarcastically, his eyes fixed on the computer in front of him. I just shrug, despite the fact that he can't see me. "Nikki and Tom will be joining this morning's meeting. Is that alright?" He asked, not really looking for an answer.

And thank god he wasn't, as I had frozen after hearing Nikki's name. I could barely look at her yesterday. How am I supposed to sit through an hour long meeting of boring work talk with her and _not_ get intimidated by her presence? It's not that she intimidates me… it's just that a lot of things were said yesterday, things that can't be unsaid. And yet there are so many unspoken words between us. Words that _need_ to be said. But neither of us are brave enough to speak up.

A gentle, yet piercingly loud, knock on the door disrupted me from my thoughts. I took a sharp breath in, preparing myself for being with Nikki for the first time since the argument. And it's a good thing I did prepare myself, because as soon as she noticed me sat at the table, her face dropped. Her beautiful smile that could light up the room had fallen to the floor, causing the sudden darkness to cave around me. Instead, a small frown had taken over her features. And I know that she's still mad at me as she sits as far away from me as possible. But I don't care, because she made herself clear yesterday. She doesn't want any form of intimacy with me, and maybe that's for the best. Maybe I was wrong by letting Nikki in, and opening up to her. I should have kept myself to myself, otherwise I end up hurting the people I hold close to my heart.

So far, the meeting has run reasonably smooth, with a few heartbroken looks between me and Nikki and confused glances from Tom. The majority of the meeting was spent with me and Michael arguing about money issues, as usual. "The canteen needs more money put towards it. Maggie's struggling to feed everyone." Michael begged for more money. Money that I didn't have.

"Right now, _I'm_ struggling to give everyone what they want. The canteen is the least of my worries." I sigh as he rolls his eyes, opening his mouth, ready to fight back. "Lorraine, the canteen needs mone-"

"God, it seems like I'm fighting a battle that I can't win with you Michael." I interrupted his annoying dull voice. "I give up." I throw my hands up in the air, a signal of defeat, before placing my elbows on the cold glass table, and holding my head in my hands.

"You're good at giving up on people." Nikki mumbled, her voice quiet and shaky. Not as confident as usual. But she doesn't let that faze her as I look up and our eyes meet. Her bright blue orbs staring at me. No, staring right _through _me. And it hurts.

Then there's a tense silence lingering in the air. No one speaks. The only noise is the sound of grumpy teens moping about outside. Thankfully, Tom brings everyone to his attention as he makes his excuses to leave. Filling the silence with lies. But I'd rather the room was filled with lies than the silence that was slowly cutting through my throat, leaving me gasping for air, desperate for someone to save me. Once Tom had left, Michael clears his throat and continues with the meeting.

"Right, the… erm, library also needs more books. Audrey keeps complaining that there are not enough books on the war, and it's driving me crazy." He stutters a little; the awkward atmosphere still current.

"I updated the library last month. There are new computers and books already in there." I wasn't in the mood to splash out money on something I didn't give a shit about.

"Lorraine, you made a promise to this school. You have to keep it." His accent was kicking in as his words got louder and louder.

"We all know she's not the best at keeping promises, Michael." Nikki shoots at me once more, the heartache getting the better of her. Making me feel embarrassed. I shake my head at her, truly disappointed that she couldn't keep her snide comments to herself. She's starting to sound like Christine. If only she could hear herself sometimes…

"What is going on with you two?" Michael raises his voice. I watch Nikki as she refuses to make eye contact with either of us, her eyes fixed on her hands which are fiddling with her sleeves. "You've been making pathetic comments at each other all morning." He yelled, causing Sonya to peer through the window at us. As soon as she noticed the tension in the room, she looks away, returning to her work. Or whatever she was doing.

"It's nothing." Nikki said, getting up and walking towards the door. _Nothing_? How could she say it was nothing when we spent the evening fighting and crying over the day's events. I watched her slowly pull the door handle down, silently screaming for me to say something. To clear the air. But my confidence has disappeared and as much as I want to, I can't bring myself to say something. I don't want Michael knowing anything else about my personal life. Heck, I didn't even want him knowing about me and Nikki in the first place. I guess that's why I panicked and messed up, breaking it off with Nikki just to save my pride. Before I could pluck up the courage to stop her, she had left, leaving an empty space in the doorway. I sighed as Michael shut the door, giving us some privacy.

"What happened?" He said, leaning against the door.

"Why do you care?" I asked, standing up and walking over to the desk, leaning on it so I was facing Michael.

He scoffed. "Because I can't have you two bickering like little school girls when you're supposed to be setting a good example."

"We broke up." I murmured as quietly as possibly, hoping he wouldn't hear. But of course he did.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that." He shuffled awkwardly in his place, his hands stuffed in his pockets. "Why did you break up?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Well it kind of does when it's causing you both to act stupidly." Michael moved next to me. "Sort it out," A small smirk took over his face as he walks around the desk, perching himself on the leather chair. "Or one of you will _have_ to leave."

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**Sorry that I'm SO late updating this! I feel awful :'3 Buuuut, I am planning to put up chapter 3 later on. I hope you liked this chapter, don't forget to review! xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**As promised, another update for you lucky lot. I can't believe the reviews you guys leave me. You're all so sweet. Thank you for reading and leaving such lovely feedback!**

**Anyway, here's chapter 3. It's a bit short as it's a sort of filler. But I hope you enjoy it x**

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I march my way through the corridors filled with kids messing about. Going as fast as my heels will take me, ignoring the wolf whistles from some arrogant school boy's lurking on a corner. I reach the PRU and hope that Nikki's alone as I burst in. And there she is, sat at her desk, half-heartedly marking books of pupils that will never make it in the world. She looks up at me dropping her pen and sighing.

"What do you want?" She makes no effort to make me feel welcome. I walk towards her, stopping just before her desk. "Lorraine I'm really busy." It's obvious that she doesn't want me there, but I'm not leaving. I don't want Michael to fire her because of me. So I'm going to sort this out. Whatever _this_ is.

"I know I've said it a million times before, but, I'm sorry Nik." I bite my lip because I know it drives her crazy. And I watch her bow her head, focusing on anything but me.

"So am I Lo." She mumbles, looking straight back up at me. Our eyes not quite connecting yet. "I shouldn't have said anything in front of Michael."

"No it's fine. I was wrong to end it so soon." I gulped as Nikki got out of her chair and walked round the desk, leaning on it, right in front of me. Her hands stuffed in her pockets, a strand of hair falling down her face. I had to fight the urge to tuck it back behind her ear.

"Why did you end us?" She speaks softly, staring at the ground, watching her feet shuffle. I shrug, not knowing what to say. Well, what can I say? I was scared. I didn't want Michael knowing about me being gay and I certainly did not want it to be spread around the staffroom. But I can't tell Nikki that, because then she'll think I'm a coward. And maybe I am.

"I thought it was for the best." I lied. I knew it wasn't for the best. But it was the only thing that would protect my pride. I just didn't know what else to say. "Maybe I… I was wrong…" I stuttered a little as Nikki stood up, shortening the gap between us. She ran her hand down my arm, giving me shivers. And I couldn't help but stare at her parted lips. Coated in a shiny gloss which I know tastes like strawberries. It's the one she always wears; her favourite. And I can feel my heart beating faster than usual as the space between us closes. Her lips only inches away from mine. Then we're connected. Our lips colliding, passion spilling out. Deep, caring kisses. As if we've been apart for years.

Her hand runs down my back before holding onto my waist. My hands in her hair. And then she's twisting me round and pushing me onto the desk, kissing my neck as I share a little moan. Our hearts beat against each other's chests, pounding too hard. She bites my lip and I love that. It makes me think that everything is going to be okay. But then it's all over too soon. And she's pulling back. Touching her fingers to her lips as if what we just done was wrong. I got off the desk, straightening my skirt.

"We shouldn't have done that." Nikki said, pacing around the room. "Someone could have walked in. Michael or… or Barry could have seen us!" She's worried and I don't know what to do. So I go up to her, hold her hands close to my chest and smile.

"Nikki, it's fine. No one saw us." I give her a quick peck on the cheek. She smiles back at me, nodding her head in agreement.

"I'm sorry… for kissing you." Her voice wavers a little. And I hate it. It makes her seem vulnerable and she's not. She's the strongest person I know. "I shouldn't have done it." She pulled her hands away before returning to her desk.

"Why not?"

"Because I've lead you on." Nikki snaps her head up, her face red hot and her hair ruffled up. "We can't do this again, Lo. _I_ can't do this again. I meant what I said about not putting my heart on the line for you. I refuse to get hurt by you a second time."

"I won't hurt you again, Nik." The lump in my throat was getting bigger and bigger as I realised the reality of the situation. She was right. It can't happen again. As much as I want it to, it just can't.

"I think it's best that we stay friends… colleagues." She said, her eyes glazed with tiny tears threatening to spill. "We need to stay professional, Lorraine."

"Yeah. Professional." I gulped back my own tears, hoping that it wasn't obvious that I was in pain. "I'll see you around." I said before escaping quickly. A hot tear falling to the floor. Leaving Nikki staring at the space where my body was stood seconds ago. Ready for the weeks of acting nothing but professional. No more stolen glances in the staffroom. No more secret kisses when no one's looking. No more us.

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**I'll probably update tomorrow afternoon. Don't forget to leave a review if you liked it, or if you hated it… or whatever :') Thank you! xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is a short-ish chapter as it's a bit of a filler. And I've also had a rough day, so I apologise if this is shit. Thank you for your lovely feedback. Don't forget to leave a review x**

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The canteen is reasonably quiet. Most of the kids are outside, enjoying the sun. I look out the window from where I'm sitting. The table at the back. It's where me and Nikki usually sit. But I doubt we'll be eating together anymore. We're merely colleagues, nothing but professional. I envy the teachers sat in groups, gossiping over something not even the slightest bit interesting. And here I am, stuck inside, picking at my 'lunch' with a fork. Alone. I look down at the plastic tray in front of me, watching the chips drown in watery gravy, before pushing it away from me. Just the sight of it makes me feel sick.

Then the door opens and I can hear Nikki's boots making little tip tap sounds as she approaches Maggie, collecting her tray of thick muck. My eyes fixed on her short brunette hair which was ebbing at her jawline. I watch her tuck her hair behind her ear, revealing a little bruise on her neck. A bruise which I left during a night of passion and lust. She turns and spots me, walking towards me with a smile. And for a moment, I think she's going to sit with me, and act like nothing happened. But she doesn't. She sits on the table in front of me, facing me still. I smile at her. A small smile. Nothing more than professional. And she forces a smile back.

"Alright miss," Jack cheered from across room, his mates sat with him. "Nice love-bite." He sniggered, watching as she quickly placed her hand over the bruise. Waves of guilt build up inside me as she rushes out of the canteen. Embarrassed and ashamed.

And I don't know what to say or do. I want to go after her and make sure she's okay. Help her hide the bruise. Try and make her laugh about the whole thing. But I don't. I just stay here, pretending like I don't give a fuck about how she feels. When really, I'm the only one that cares. I can hear people mumbling about it. Teacher's tutting about how unprofessional Nikki was. And I can't stand the annoying murmurs any longer. So I leave my seat and walk so confidently out of the canteen. Not really sure where I was going. Anywhere but here.

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I go to the staffroom, eager for a cup of strong coffee, thankful that nobody else was around. The tantalizing aroma of fresh coffee attacking my senses. I stirred the sugar, mindlessly sighing at myself. The door flew open and a rather flustered Nikki entered, her face miserable and sad. She slummed into a chair, turning her head away from me, obviously acknowledging that I'm in the room.

"Do you want a coffee?" I asked, showing no hint of emotion in my voice. Keeping it cool.

She shakes her head, a little too vigorously. "No." I can sense the anger in her voice. But I can't tell if she's mad at me, or at herself.

"Are you okay?" I allow myself to trail off from the whole 'staying professional' route. Nikki deserves that, at least.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She replied, sarcasm dripping from her lips.

"Nikki." Just one mention of her name and she's looking up at me. Her beady eyes begging me to save her. I raise my eyebrows a little, making her smile reappear.

"How bad is it?" She asked, pointing to the bruise on her neck. I screwed my nose up, attempting to stifle a laugh. "Oh, god. Is it that bad?!" She giggled, hitting me playfully on the arm.

"No, it's fine. Do you want some make-up to cover it up?" I rummage around in my bag for the make-up. Getting it out and giving it to Nikki, who takes it thankfully. After a few attempts at applying it herself, she gives up and looks at me with a mischievous look on her face.

"Can you do it for me please? I just can't see where I'm putting it and it would be easier for you to do it anyway." She babbles uncontrollably. Something I find incredibly cute. I nod, taking the make-up back off her and slowly applying it to the bruise. Making sure that it's totally covered up, to avoid any more embarrassment.

As I touch her neck one last time, I can feel the electricity pumping through us both. And it's something I miss. I miss her touch. I miss that feeling I get when she's around. I miss being able to smile at her innocently, the meaning behind the smile explaining so much more.

"There." I say lightly, moving back a little to admire the masterpiece. To admire Nikki.

"Thank you." She almost whispered, her voice so soft and beautiful. Standing up, towing over me, our bodies so close. I could feel the heat radiating from herself onto me. I can't help but stare at her lips, shaped in the form of a sort of mini pout. And it's adorable. I want to feel the softness of her lips against mine. Taste her tongue on mine. But I can't. And I'm soon knocked out of my thoughts as she's moving her body away, walking at a slow, cool pace towards the door. Turning to see me, her eyes lingering on me for too long, just before she leaves.

And I can't help but smile at myself as a little spark of hope is found. Maybe, just maybe, there is chance for me and Nikki after all.

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**Again, I'm sorry that it's so bad. Leave feedback :') thank you guys xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for your reviews, they mean a lot! So, here's another update. It was pretty rushed so again, sorry if it's not that good. But other than that, enjoy x**

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Empty and cold corridors. Deserted, with a few loose papers laying low on the grubby floor. The sound of some teachers moaning as they leave the school. I walk into my office, grabbing my bag and turning all the lights off. Walking as fast as I can out of the dark. The dark that gives me nightmares. Reminds me of the horrible times I had a teenager. Growing up in a family that hated dykes. Hated what I was.

I walk out into the cold night's air, stepping in a small puddle. I look across the playground, spotting my beautiful red car and walking towards it with confidence and pride. Tiny little shivers traveling down my back. And I notice Nikki leaning against the wall, trying to balance a pile of books in one arm and her bag in the other. I rush to help her as she almost drops the books.

"Do you need help?" I ask, taking a few books out of her grip. Her face lighting up as our hands touch slightly. Just the feel of her skin on mine is enough to make me float on cloud 9.

"Thanks Lo." She sighs with relief. We walk to her car together in a silence that is hard to describe. It's not awkward, but I still wish that she would say something, _anything_ to break the barrier between us.

"Look, Nikki," I start, stopping just as we reach her car. "I know we said that we were going to keep things professional. But… well, do you fancy going for a drink?" I stutter, allowing my nerves to get the better of me. "As friends of course. Maybe we could discuss the PRU…"

"I'd really like that actually. I've had a shit day and could really do with a _friend_ to talk to." She replies, taking the remaining books out of my hands and chucking them on the passenger seat. "I'll meet you at the pub." She smiles and I'm nodding in agreement, before quickly hurrying back to my car. Jumping in and speeding down the road. Eager to spend the evening with Nikki, even if nothing more than stolen looks are shared between us.

We arrive at the bar and take our seats before ordering a wine for myself and a beer for Nikki. A few hours pass and I'm listening to Nikki ramble on about how her day has gone from bad to worse. But I'm not really listening, because I'm distracted by her sky blue eyes. Glistening back at me. Full of emotions that I can't figure out. The corners of her lips curve up as she notices my eyes lingering on her lips for a moment too long.

"Have you even been listening to me?" She giggles, the alcohol slurring her words slightly. And it takes me a while to find the right words to say back.

"Sorry. I've just got a lot on my mind." I reply, looking down at the empty wine glass in my hand. Wishing it was full. I suddenly feel Nikki shuffle closer to me, placing her hand on my knee. Then I feel her gaze on my lips. Gravity pushing our heads closer together. And I can feel her breath on my breath as she leans in, our lips gently brushing.

But then she's pulling back, continuing to drink her beer. Teasing me. Smirking as she removes her hand from my knee. And I instantly miss her touch. The warmth gone and instead replaced with freezing nothingness. I look up at her, noticing the bruise on her neck. The make-up had obviously worn off over the day. I softly touch two fingers to the bruise, biting my lip. My eyes flicking from her eyes to the bruise.

"I remember when you gave me that." She half-laughs, half-mumbles. Running a hand through my blonde curls, that were slowly losing its luscious look. "It was the same night you said you loved me." I saw the happiness in her eyes die. Remembering the good times we had together. The times that are no more.

"What happened to us Lo? We used to be so close. Now we can't even look at each other without feeling pain."

"It… It doesn't have to be like that." I stutter. "We can still be close, Nik." I grow confident, placing my hand on top of hers. I'm Lorraine Donnegan for fucks sake. I can have what I want. And I want Nikki.

All too soon, she pulls her hand away, turning her body away from me. "No we can't. I can't do this again."

"You can. Come on Nik. You know we're great together!" Placing my index finger under her chin and lifting it up. Allowing our eyes to connect.

"I can't…" She trails off, our lips faintly touching again. "… Do this." We're so close. I can taste her breath. Beer and lust. And then she's giving in to all temptations, kissing me with everything she's got. Tracing my lips with her tongue. Begging for entrance. Our tongues entwined. Sharing passion. Speaking our thoughts without actually saying a word.

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**If this chapter gets enough reviews, I'll probably upload another one later xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Another chapter for you unlucky lot. It's a bit of a filler so it's not that good :D I must you warn you, it involvs sex, but I'm not good at writing sex-scenes so it's kept to a very small amount. And it's not detailed. Also it's VERY short. So yeah. I didn't get much feedback on the last chapter, but I need some to keep me going :D But still... Enjoy if you can! x**

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We stumble through my front door, our lips attached and unwilling to be parted. Slamming my door shut. Nikki pushing me against it. Kissing along my jawline, down my neck and back up again. Until I can't take much more teasing and I start to unbutton her shirt. Revealing her perfect figure. Toned stomach which I can't wait to kiss. I run my hand down her back, feeling her bare skin, making me smile into the kiss.

Then we're leaving a trail of Nikki's clothes as we make our way upstairs. Tripping and tumbling. She's in nothing but her pants by the time we reach my bedroom. And she's unzipping my dress, leaving it in a pile of mess beneath my feet. Kissing my shoulders, along my collarbones. Sweet, soft moans escaping my mouth. She kisses my neck once more, sucking hard on the pulse point. Leaving a mark. A mark that I'll show off with pride.

She pushes me on the bed, kissing my bare stomach, sending shivers of passion down my spine. Then she's going lower and lower. My heartbeat racing. Too fast. My breathing out of control. And she's making me feel great, working her magic. It's not long until I'm lost in a bubble of ecstasy, screaming her name, begging for more.

And she's collapsing down next to me, licking her lips before kissing me. My whole body sweating and shaking after hitting a whole new level with Nikki. I realise how much I've missed her touch. Missed her kisses and her love.

We lay together, our bodies entwined. Our hearts beating as one. Falling asleep with her arms wrapped tightly around my waist. And I wouldn't change a thing.

My eyes flickered open, revealing the same four walls I see every morning. A light groan escaped my mouth. Burying my head in my pillow, I felt something on my back. I turn on my side, noticing Nikki sleeping peaceful. Looking like an angel.

I quietly sighed to myself. A sigh of joy. I nudged her shoulder vigorously as I notice the time, awaking her from her slumber. She quickly opened her eyes in shock.

She murmured, her eyes adjusting to the light. "What happened last night?" She asked me. Her blue eyes locked with mine.

"Do you really want me to go through the details?" I laugh earning a small smile from Nikki. Her smile stays plastered on her face as she leans up and kisses me. Electricity pumping from her lips through to mine. "We're going to be late for work." I groan onto her lips.

"Shit." She moans, pulling back and clambering out of the bed. There was an easy silence between us as I watched her leave the room, collecting clothes from downstairs. After a few moments, she comes back in, half-dressed. And my eyes don't leave her body as she dressed herself. Vague images of last night flashed through my mind.

And as she sat down on the edge of my bed, kissing me another time, I knew we'd be okay. For now at least.

* * *

**Thank you for continuously reading. This is the last chapter as school work has currently taken over my life. I promise I will start a new fic soon. Thank you xoxox**


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